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Funny Quotes for Wife | Funny Wife Quotes | Quotes & Wishes
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Very Funny Quotes for Wife | Funny Wife Quotes

Very Funny Quotes for Wife | Funny Wife Quotes: Wives are very important person in every man’s life, no matter who is her husband. Lolz. She may be the most irritating and at the same time she is the one who can do anything for your happiness. In this article I am sharing some funny wife quotes especially for those men who are fed up of listening to their wives. You can read these very funny quotes for wife and relax your mind. Even you can make her smile too with these short funny wife quotes.

These funny wife quotes are just made for fun and are not for hurting sentiments of any lady. So it’s my humble request to take these funny wife quotes as a pill of happiness, tickling and fun. I hope you will my little collection of Very Funny Quotes for Wife | Funny Wife Quotes. Also share with your friends so that they can have fun for their wife. Have fun keep smiling and keep reading.

ALSO CHECK>>> Wedding Anniversary Wishes For Mom & Dad

funny wife quotes


Very Funny Quotes for Wife

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
~ Jim Backus

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
~ Woody Allen

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
~ Oscar Wilde

There’s only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife.
~ Scott

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
~ Benjamin Franklin

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
~ Henny Youngman

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
~ Oscar Wilde 

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
~ Rodney Dangerfield

Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.
~ Shakespeare


I Love My Wife Funny Quotes

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
~ Henny Youngman

It’s relaxing to go out with my ex-wife because she already knows I’m an idiot.
~ Warren Thomas

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
~ Groucho Marx

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
~ Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.” I asked her, “Where’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.”
~ Henny Youngman

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

The amount of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous. It looks so bad. It is simply washing one’s clean linen in public.
~ Oscar Wilde

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, “You’ll drive me to my grave.” I had the car out in thirty seconds.
~ Tommy Cooper

I don’t care if she doesn’t know how to cook – so long as she doesn’t know a good lawyer.
~ Errol Flynn

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives’ mouths.
~ Bertrand Russell

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands.
~ Oscar Wilde

funny quotes for wife

LOL! Funny Wife Quotes

Funny Wife Quotes and Sayings

My wife was afraid of the dark…then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
~ Rodney

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
~ Jimmy Durante

My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said, “How about Tuesday?”
~ Buddy

A woman who knows how to compose a soup or a salad that is perfectly harmonious in flavor ought to be clever at mixing together the sweet and harsh elements of a man’s, and she will understand how to charm and keep forever her husband’s heart and soul.
~ Berjane

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
~ Oscar Wilde

The wife’s in a bad mood. She asked me to pay for her new cosmetic surgery. I told her it was too expensive and she should iron out the wrinkles herself…
~ Robert Paul

So these are a small collection Very Funny Quotes for Wife | Funny Wife Quotes. I hope you have enjoyed these funny wife quotes. It is recommended for you to bookmark this page to get updated with more funny husband and wife quotes, messages and jokes. Also don’t forget to share because sharing is good. Keep Smiling.

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