Christmas Day 2015

New Merry Christmas 2015 Jokes One liners

Merry Christmas Fellas… Ha Ha Ha…. Christmas is about to come, a festival of joy, happiness and lots of laughing in Santas voice. It’s a season of happiness and too much laughing. So to giggle your nerves tpevent brings you Latest Christmas Jokes in One Liners. These jokes are made just for fun only. No community is disregarded or violated. Just read these Christmas 2015 Jokes one liners  for light heartening purpose and spread your laugh in the atmosphere. Even Santa cant stop laughing after reading these Christmas Jokes, one liners, Santa jokes. Spread the giggling to the world like I am sharing with you. Here it is New Merry Christmas 2015 One Liner Jokes

Also Check>>> 50+ Latest Christmas Quotes, Messages, Sayings for Christmas Day 2015

Laughing-Santa-Merry-Christmas-2015

Christmas Day Jokes | One liner Jokes on Santa Clause

Latest Christmas One Liner Jokes 2015

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: rebel without a Claus

Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: a wrapper!

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soot’s him

Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A: Because the present’s beneath them.

Q: What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet?
A: It’s Saint-NICKEL-LESS

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

When is Santa’s favorite time of year?
The flalalalalalalala days

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
A: Santa paws!

Q: What cars do elfs drive?
A: a toy yota.

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to cats?
A: Santa claws!

Why does santa have three gardens?
so he can ho ho ho

Q: What do you learn at Santa’s Helpers school
A: The elf-a-bet

Funny Christmas & Santa One Liner Jokes

Q: Why does Santa go to strip clubs?
A: To visit all the ho ho ho’s.

Q: Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
A: because she was a ho ho ho.

Q: What do you call an elf that sings?
A: ELFIS

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any children ?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claws!

Who dosen’t eat on Christmas?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
to keep her off the North Pole

Q: What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
A: Limp Bizkit

Q: Name the child’s favorite Christmas king?
A: A stocking.

Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
to keep her off the North Pole

Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

Q: Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up?
A: It doesn’t have legs.

Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What does one ho plus two ho make?
Answer, a jolly Santa

Hilarious Jokes on Christmas Day 2015

Who dosen’t eat on Christmas?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Q: Which Limp Bizkit song did the Elf listen to while building toys?
A: He did it all for the cookies!

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.

Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinselitis!

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: What is the popular Christmas carol in Desert?
A: Camel ye Faithful.

Q: What part of the body do you only see during Christmas?
A: mistletoe.

Q: What does One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have ornamental balls.

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat?
A Merry Can (American)

Q: Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
A: Because they  were originally  made for children but the father wants to play with them.

Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction

Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
A: Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

What is Lil Jon’s favorite holiday?
CrunkMas

Q: How does santa afford all those christmas gifts?
A: He pimps his hos.

What doesn’t Mr. Krabs celebrate Christmas?
Cause he’s “Shell-Fish”

What do you call a singing elf with sideburns?
Elfis.

What do you call a scary reindeer?
A cariboo.

What do you call an incomplete christmas sentence?
A santa clause

What do you call a wet animal?
“A reindeer”

Latest Christmas 2015 One Liners

What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you..

Q: What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
A: Silent Night

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A: A pack of batteries which at the bottom says “toy not included”.

Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
A: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

I was looking out of the window this morning and said to my wife “It looks like rain dear.”

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes

Q: What do you call a brothel in the North Pole?
A: a workshop

Q: What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
A: Santa stopped at 3 ho’s.

Why is Santa’s sack so full?
Because he only comes once a year

Where does santa keep his money?
a snow bank.

What do you call the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents?
a christ-MESS

What do you call a blind reindeer?.
I have no eye deer

What happens when you use the fireplace on Christmas Eve?
You Crisp Cringle.

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q: What did the snowman eat?
A: icebergs with chilli sauce.

Funny Christmas Santa Jokes

How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
A: Snowballs.

Boy: Are you Christmas? Because I wanna merry you!
Girl: Is your last name Hall? Cause I wanna Deck The Halls.

If I was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you.

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
Olive ?
Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What goes “oh oh oh”?
A: Santa walking backwards

Q: What do you call a smelly Santa?
A: “Farter Christmas”

I think Christmas is near!
Because i see a ho! ho! ho!

The 4 stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3. You dress up as Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus

Did u kiss santa?
No I just slept with him.
I made Santa say Ho Ho Ho

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!

What did the little elves have to do when they got home from school?
Gnome-work!

Also Read>>> Most Amazing Christmas Day 2015 Gift Ideas for Mom

I bet you guys you are still laughing at these silly Christmas Jokes and one liners. I hope you enjoyed this collection of Latest Christmas Jokes, One Liners, Santa Jokes, Carol Jokes, etc. I have done my part by making you laugh, now its your turn to share this craziness with your friends. Don’t forget to share because sharing is good. Keep laughing and be crazy. Merry Christmas 2015.

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